THE SMILE THAT KILLED ME

Compared to all the embarassing things that has happened to me, this has got to be the worse.
Probably due to the fact tht this is happening at this age and in front of a BIG crowd.

Having really confused feelings, i wanted to hate her, but at the same time i knew i was in the wrong too.
(deep deep sigh) if you've been my loyal reader, you've noticed that im always on both sides even when im in the situations and as i said, this is far worst.
hate her, dont hate her, hate her, dont hate her......

Then come the counselling and the letting-everything-out session with my wonderful pairs of ears at hme.
Problem didnt lie with her, it was me.
Uncontrollable tear glands is at its job again and im really really in the lowest state of my life condition:(

I swear i didnt do anything on purpose, im being myself.
But being myself is a wrong action.
So, what shld i do?
Be myself, do the wrong thing? Dont be myself and do the right thing?

I'm feeling much better now, but i dont deny im just running away from my negative thoughts.
I think i need professional help. Please.



IF UNDERSTANDING AND FORGIVENESS IS CHARGEABLE, I OWE MILLIONS NOW.